wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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