Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize