I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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