As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
