Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
