I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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