i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
