You work out of a Hotel?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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