My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
