That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
