: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
