Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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