I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
