it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
