Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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