He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize