He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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