you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
