I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
