More tranny stories later!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
