I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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