So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
