but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
