I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
