Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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