What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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