therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
