I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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