I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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