from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I cannot find my penis.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
