I don't think brook has ever known best
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
