i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
