so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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