Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
