Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
