margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
