I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
