Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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