dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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