just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
