i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
