i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize