Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
