I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
