I met the friendliest cop last night
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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