i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
