His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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