Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
