Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
