did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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