I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
