Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
