Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
