turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize