If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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