Quick, to the slutcave!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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