I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
