no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
