My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize