are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
