She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
