Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
