the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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