Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
