windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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