My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
