dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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