Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
