she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
