they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize